The Diagnosis
Posted by: Betsy on: February 14, 2008
- In: Diagnosis
- 7 Comments
). She explained MUCH to us. Mom was a bit dazed and is totally confused about most of what was said at this point. Luckily, I wrote everything down as my memory is for dung these days. This is what she said:
.Appointment
Posted by: Betsy on: February 13, 2008
My dear Mom will see the oncological surgeon this morning. He will check her incision, maybe the lymph node in general.
And, (I hold my breath) will see the oncologist at 2:30 p.m. this afternoon. I hope there is some glimmer of hope.
So stressed.
And, to make matters a tiny bit worse, Savanna keeps crying, saying, “I so sad Mommy. I don’t have a daddy”. Sometimes she replaces “daddy” with “mommy”. This baffles me. I’m not sure where she is getting these ideas, she can’t really tell me. It seems obvious she is picking up on my sadness, stress, etc. The way she cries is bothersome. It is a hurt cry. All I know to do is hold her, tell her I am her Mommy and love her with all my heart and will take care of her. And, I tell her I miss my Daddy too.
More to follow…
Still NOTHING
Posted by: Betsy on: February 12, 2008
First, a huge “THANK YOU” for your kind words, and support.
We had an appointment to see the oncologist last Thursday but had to cancel because the biopsy test results were not back. And, they weren’t back on Friday either, or Monday. WTF!!! The nurse said the pathologist sent the slides for further analysis. Yeah, that’s great, fine, good and all, but in the meantime, my dear mom has become noticeably more pale/yellow tinge, weak, fatigued, with shortness of breath, and back pain.
I want her seen by the doctor NOW before her health is beyond all hope.
Please God hear my plea!
Mom remains at peace. I’m becoming more numb… seeing myself from afar, playing a role I never dreamed of. I’m just “here” but not really “present” if that makes sense.
Will post when I have more info.
Betsy
Popping Up for Air
Posted by: Betsy on: February 3, 2008
Since the last post:
1. I paid $357 to get a new hard drive and my pictures, documents restored. I was so happy it could be done.
2. Savanna started Montesorri preschool. She is doing GREAT. I cannot believe how fast she is learning her ABC’s, numbers, colors, shapes while having so much fun.
3. Large, very large, lymph nodes all over my dear Mom’s body were found and a cyst or mass was found in the head of her pancreas. Cancer is the BIG fear.
Mom is very peaceful, not in denial and said, “we must accept what is. If it is my time to go, I don’t like it, but will accept it. I have had a good life and the highlight has been being Savanna’s ‘Faa Faa’ (Savanna is her only grandchild)”.
Me, on the other hand, have been anything but “at peace”. It has been quite a shock and my world has been turned upside down. My mom is my best friend, my roommate, the most incredible woman I have ever known. Life without her is beyond my comprehension.
Tomorrow Mom has a biopsy on her lymph node in her neck. If you are of the praying sort (sending good vibes is fine too) I would so much appreciate them for her, my family. There is a chance she has a very bad infection and it’s not cancer, but everything that I’ve read leads to lymphoma or pancreatic cancer which has a very poor prognosis (less than 1 year survival).
My heart aches for Mom, Savanna, me…
Just Plain Stupid
Posted by: Betsy on: December 21, 2007
Well, my computer is on the fritz. I need a new hard drive. Stupid computer! And stupid me for not backing up all the pictures I’ve taken of Savanna for the past 2.5 years. I hope, and pray I have not permanently lost them. It truly makes me sick thinking about this possibility.
Any one experienced with this kind of stupidity? Will I be able to get my pictures back?
I hope it won’t be long until I’m back on a regular basis. In the meantime, may you all have a wonderful holiday season and joyous New Year.
Big Girl, Savanna
Posted by: Betsy on: December 14, 2007
I am so happy to report that Savanna’s potty training is going most excellently.
The first day was the hardest but two days later her panties are dry at the end of the day. The main focus for the next couple of weeks will be on going poop in the potty. I’m still dealing with the “load factor”. Savanna gets very upset, will even cry, if I don’t show her “the deed”. Go figure! Lovely isn’t it?
After every potty experience (and it’s ALWAYS an experience), Savanna tells me, “Momma, I’m a big girl”. Yes, Sass, you are a big girl and I’m very proud of you.
Helpful tips for potty training:
1. Buy the thick cotton training pants (at Target)
2. Buy the plastic coated training pants (also at Target)
3. Put the thick cotton pants on first, then the plastic training pants (controls leakage).
4. Get a timer and set it for every 30 minutes for the three days. When the bell/ding is heard, off to the potty you/kiddo go. If kiddo does the “deed” you do the “happy dance” (I’ll leave that to your imagination) and praise kiddo like there’s no tomorrow. Stickers and Band-Aids are great reinforcements too.
4. On day 4-5, depending on how kiddo is doing, increase the time between potty trips.
5. Put diaper on at night with plastic pants over it until kiddo is completely trained.
It really isn’t too difficult. And the fun part is you get to dance every 30 minutes and kiddo feels wonderful seeing you make a complete A-S of yourself!
Best of luck to you. Seriously, it really hasn’t been difficult.
It’s do or die…
Posted by: Betsy on: December 11, 2007
well “die” is a bit strong I must admit.
TODAY is the day. It’s a day to celebrate (I think). Yes, folks today is the first day that little Ms. Sass will be wearing trainer undies (and I’m so glad she’s at Patti’s, baby sitter’s, while I’m at work )
Last night Savanna and I have a long (about 1 minute) talk about where all her “potty” must go from now on. She nodded very excitedly and repeated back to me to let me know she understood. And, we both jumped in excitement.
When I put the undies on her this morning, she asked, “what’s that?” I reminded her of of our talk last night. But this time I was the only one jumping with excitement.
Poor Patti….
Come on, Sass, I know you can do this.
Turtles Have it Made
Posted by: Betsy on: December 4, 2007
First, let me say a huge “THANK YOU” for all your comments and emails regarding the last post. I’m in the process of trying out many different ideas. So far, Play Doh, the tent made out of blankets over chairs, the ABC/123 cards, and a dance video have been real hits with Savanna. Keep the ideas coming. Believe me, I need all the help I can get. You might get a better picture of what it’s like to parent Savanna when I share with you what occurred this evening.
Scenario: Nice restaurant (why does everything happen at the restaurant?!)
My mom, Savanna and I ordered soft drinks before our food. I gulped mine down as I was quite thirsty. The nice and very observant waitress quickly approached the table and picked up my glass so that she could bring me a refill. But, before she walked away, Savanna slammed her hands on the table and shouted, “No, that’s my Momma’s soda!”
Poor waitress, just trying to do her job and gets yelled at by a 2 year old. And, all the patrons looked in our direction.
But, it didn’t end there…
When the meal was nearly finished, the same waitress approached and asked if we were interested in desserts. And guess what Savanna said? Think of something that would really shock and embarrass you? Think really hard…
Savanna to waitress: “DO YOU HAVE GAS?”
After this incident I started thinking turtles had it made. I started fantasizing about what it would be like to be able to poke my head out of my shell and pull it back in at will.
Furthermore, this was not the last episode…
As we were getting ready to leave Savanna’s hand was in mine. However, she broke free. At this point I was getting a little miffed. I tried to grasp her hand tightly, but it was too late. I looked down and there was Savanna…. on the floor….. on all fours…. crawling as fast as she could…barking like a dog.
And, EVERY ONE BURST OUT LAUGHING.
There isn’t a book written that could have prepared me for what it was going to be like to parent my little Sassy Savanna.
I know something isn’t quite right when my kid wants to be a dog and all I want to be is a turtle!
Never a dull moment friends, never a dull moment….
Until next time,
One Humble Momma
How do you entertain a 2 year old? Help!
Posted by: Betsy on: November 19, 2007
The creative part of my brain is on the fritz. And, I’m feeling a tad bit guilty as I don’t believe I’m “being all I can be” for Savanna right now. I am busy and my mind is preoccupied. As a result, I have been “short” with Savanna. To say the least, it has been difficult for me to to stay “child centered”.
Savanna likes to watch t.v. which I don’t really think is the best thing for her. She loves for me to chase her (and I do) but I don’t want to do that (rather, I can’t!) for hours either. She loves to color with her crayons and markers but before long she is bored with that too. Savanna loves to dance, jump, and run too.
What else can I do with her inside the house? In other words, what do two-years- olds like to do?
All ideas are welcome.
Thanks,
One Frazzled Mom
Poop Amnesia
Posted by: Betsy on: November 12, 2007
Savanna has pooped a total of 2 times in the potty, one time at Patti’s (babysitter) and one time at home.
Now, you’d think that a girl as smart as her would not want to go around with a large, smelly lump in her pants! (great visual huh?)
Looking forward to greater smelling days ahead…
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