For the Love of Savanna

My Mom to me: “I went to a different salon to get my hair done and I had an uncomfortable encounter with the hair stylist. She asked me if I had any grandchildren. I told her I had ONE beautiful granddaughter that came into our lives 4 months ago. I told her, with pride, that you adopted Savanna from Guatemala.”

Hair stylist to Mom: “What color is your daughter’s (my) skin?”

My Mom to hair stylist: “She is very fair, like me”.

Hair stylist to Mom: “Why didn’t she adopt a White baby from here (California) then?” (Like California only has White people? It’s the most racially and culturally diverse state in the US!)

My Mom to hair stylist: “She has always wanted to adopt a baby since she was a little girl. And, adopting in the US can go on for years and is unpredictable. Guatemala was the best choice for Betsy.” (Guatemala was the only country available for a single woman to adopt from)

Hair stylist: “But your daughter’s skin is white and the baby’s is brown”.

Me to Mom: “I’m not sure how to respond. I feel sad for the hair stylist because she is so limited in her mindset. On the other hand, not wanting to parent a baby because the color of their skin is different than mine? What a complete IGNORAMOUS!”

I am not making light of the need to be sensitive to the racial and cultural differences with our internationally adopted children. The “differentness” can cause our children to be “singled out” and hurt. These situations need to be handled with wisdom and sensitivity. But come on, not to parent/love a baby who needs a home, because of his/her skin color?